forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
