tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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