70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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