Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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