Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
