at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
