i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Sorry my hands just texted you
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
