I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
