Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
