my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
