i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
