Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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