why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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