I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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