Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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