He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
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He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
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She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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