Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
my poor anus
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
