All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
