There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
