She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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