Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
