where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
