Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize