Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize