Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
