If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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