i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
