It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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