So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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