I wish my penis had an off switch
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
