Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
vagina is talking i cant
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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