Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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