I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
