i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
