help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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