North Korea, Best Korea!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
