Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
