Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize