OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
