I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
