I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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