thus making me awesome and them whores
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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