I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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