after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
