this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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