he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
