make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
