How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
