Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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