Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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