Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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