You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
