come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
