i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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