I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
