can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
