he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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