That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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